India's Jewish Elderly: Respected Again

"Whether he is a pauper or a king, the most important thing is that he is treated with respect" relayed Saul, a 70-year old resident living in Bayiti, the JDC-sponsored elderly living facility in India.

When you get off the train in Thane you are assaulted by a frantic stream of motored rickshaws and pedestrians – each asserting supremacy over the road. The contrast of Bayiti is palpable – located on a tree spotted hill, it is a welcome contrast to the motored hum of the downtown area.

My new elderly friend left his family many years ago – over a dispute that undermined his position as the head of the household. He has a gummy smile, a scruffy chin and a long mustache that he curls upward in a dramatic way – kind of like an additional smile. Saul has been a resident of the house for about 6 months now, and he has a lot to smile about. Here, he is given the respect that he craves. He has decision-making power in the operation of the communal home and is actively involved in all the activities.

A JDC professional explains, "Here in Bayiti we try to return the authority back to the elderly person." My colleague’s sing-song Indian accent makes every statement he makes almost jovial. "In India, the issue of authority is very important – once they are retired, many elderly people feel like they can’t have any say in their family." In India, the family unit is skintight. Although each one operates differently – fathers, mothers (and even mothers’-in-law) have very strong decision-making power. Losing that sense of authority and the respect that goes along with it is debilitating.

In Pirkei Avot in the Mishnah, the Rabbis ask, "Who is an honorable person"? Their answer: "He who gives honor to others."

The staff at Bayiti is doing just that.

-- Written by RIG Fellow Dassee Berkowitz